In the spirit of empowering thought and radical responsibility, I’d like to offer one of my tried and true practices that I return to when I’m falling into a pattern of disempowerment and stagnant and repetitive thinking. This is the work of Byron Katie, who teaches about “The Four Liberating Questions,” a process of self-inquiry, which has been coined as, “The Work.” This is a simple and game-changing practice for those who take the time and would like to understand the self-limiting beliefs that are causing them pain. The four questions, for which you can take any of your limiting beliefs and journal, are as follows:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?

If I’m doing all of the “right things,” why don’t I feel better yet?

Fatigue, burnout, adrenal depletion, and other forms of exhaustion run rampant in our world and as a practitioner who supports many high-achieving individuals, this is one of the most common complaints in my practice.

Solutions to extreme fatigue are as varied as the individuals who experience these symptoms, but one part of the treatment plan is consistent for everyone. 

Patience. 

High-achieving individuals-whether they are CEO’s, entrepreneurs, stay-at-home mothers or fathers, or small business owners-are used to getting things done and bending circumstances to their will. They create their own pathways and plans for their lives. They do not resonate with the word, “no,” because they are adept at finding ways to make miracles happen.

You can see why it is so hard to be patient once a certain level of exhaustion has been felt and solutions have already been put into play. However, recently I was with a patient and explained it this way:

I want you to imagine a parched riverbed.
The soil is cracked and dry, there has not been adequate water for years, other than small rains every so often. Therefore, the riverbed remains parched.
Sometimes there will actually be a deluge of water, a flash flooding if you will.
However, because the daily experience of this riverbed is starvation, the flash flood merely runs off of the sides and cannot be absorbed.
It is a concentrated rain, but the experience is too intense and too brief to be taken in fully. 

This is the state that people are in when they often ask for help. Their self-care is so very lacking, that they have become these dry riverbeds. They attempt to support themselves here and there with “self-care hacks,” but this is a drop of rain. It is not enough. Sometimes, in a state of panic, people will implement a dramatic change. They begin the keto diet, they go vegan, they juice fast, they go from no movement to running every day, and they go to Cross Fit or Orange Theory five times per week. They do this for one month, do not see results, and quit in a fit of frustration. This is the deluge. Too much, too fast, a shock to the soil and the entire system.

There is no patience, there is no long-term plan.

This is as it should be.

This is the medicine for you. Patience.

We are taught the lessons we most need when we are brought to our knees. I’ve never seen anyone surrender because they were in a good situation. We surrender when we have no choice, when we must trust in something greater than ourselves because we are flat out of ideas. We’ve exhausted the resources of our own ego. 

This is a process of letting go, of seeking support, of leaning in, and trusting that the outcome will be better than we can imagine. 

It is a process of daily alignment, continuing on the path-even when results are not immediate-in faith, seeing small results and letting those results build. This is providing a slow and gentle, consistent rain on your parched earth, seeing those cracks fill in, watching the soil become darker and richer, seeing the vegetation along the banks return with fervor, and slowly but surely witnessing the water level rise.

So how do I recommend that you begin this deep process of healing:

1. Be honest about the truth of your wound. Get support, do the testing, speak about your life, find a trusted guide and or support system to look, from every angle, into what is depleting or compromising your physical, mental, and emotional bodies. 
2. Follow the plan. Consistently. Once the answers have been excavated and a plan has been created, follow it. Have faith. Put one foot in front of the other and trust that the system you have created will continue to support you on the journey. On the journey, it is possible that you may need to call on additional support or let pseudo-support fall away. This is expected.
3. Re-evaluate your self-care practices. One of the biggest issues I see these days is an inability to do what you are doing. Are you walking in nature because it feeds your soul? Wonderful, let it, and then stop multi-tasking by listening to podcasts simultaneously, answering emails, or drowning out the sounds of the birds with music. You get the idea. 
4. Stop letting the mental body do all of the heavy lifting. One of the biggest obstacles in our repletion, is the inability to witness-as opposed to getting attached to-the stories of the mental body. We over-think our healing, we consult too many outside sources without checking in on our own system. We take the advice of this expert and that expert and we substitute it for our own self-awareness. It takes discipline: meditation, prayer, stillness, to begin to let the mental body rest. 
5. Create a system where you are checking in on your goals. Each of my patients know that there is a system in place so that we continually are moving towards the goal(s) put in place. We often lose sight of how far we have come because we forget where we started. 

And as you embark on this journey of healing, remember that you are not alone. Healing is not a linear process, and it’s completely natural to feel impatient or frustrated along the way. But with patience, consistency, and self-compassion, profound transformation is possible.

Give yourself permission to be in the process, to lean into the discomfort, and to seek the support that will help you achieve lasting change. Take it one day at a time, trusting that each step you take is watering that parched riverbed, slowly but surely bringing it back to life.

I’m here to support you every step of the way, holding space for your journey with patience and unwavering faith in your potential for growth and healing. Remember, small, consistent changes add up over time. Together, let’s nourish the soil and watch as your life flourishes in ways you may not even be able to imagine yet.

With love and support,

Dr. Carrie